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We've moved into our old home and even though it was a crazy and unorganized move, we're finally settling in and things are getting back to somewhat of a normal pace. I've been trying to get back into the groove of schooling the kids (which was postponed due to the move) and trying to prepare for the holiday season that seems to be creeping up on me as it does every year very quickly.
I have recently gotten back behind my camera after about a month long absence due to all the busy happenings in my life lately! I took a couple of my girls out on our property to shoot some pictures...it was great fun and with the weather being crazy due to the Noreaster tooling up the coast, the wind was a fun and great opportunity to shoot some shots. The girls long hair and the wind made for more dramatic images, just what I needed to get back into the photography groove so to speak LOL :)
So, without further ado (I never know if I spell that word right or not, it never looks right...but that's a totally different subject isnt it) here's some of the many images I shot in the last 2 days of my girls playing, posing and just having fun helping their Mom find her nitch again behind the camera!
Hope everyone is doing well and remember, smile, it's Friday...the weekend is almost here!!!! Many Blessings to everyone and their families!
- Mood:
creative
Well lately there have been some big changes happening in life as I know it. We're moving back to our hometown, and while this is an exciting move for us, it's also a bit bittersweet. Moving of course means that hubby will have to stay behind to work during the week. The Marine Corps still owns 3 yrs of his life, but he will be able to come home on weekends and holidays, not to mention taking leave more often than he does now. Since we're going to be only 2 hrs away, it's not that bad at all, only about 2 hrs drive time to get home to us.
With this move it's brought lots and lots of busy work, packing and moving odds and ends up to the house on the weekends. We're doing this to try and keep the truck size we'll need for the major part of the moving down some to save some money. These days we're all about saving money, which brings me to another "big change" happening in my life.
Seems my next big piece of news is I'm going to be a Grandmother...yeah, at the tender age of 37 I'll be a Grandmother! Never thought that would happen, but alas it is happening and to be quite honest, I'm really excited. I got to go into the ultrasound with my daughter and saw that gorgeous little bean, the little heartbeat and the whole thing was very surreal to me. As I looked upon the sonogram picture of my grandbaby, I looked at my daughter, remembering my ultrasound I had when I was carrying her. Strange when I think about it, but I'm sure everyone who's about to become a grandparent feels this way in the beginning!
So, we'll have a new house (well not new, but definitely more loved) and a new baby! What an exciting time this is! So, as you can see there have been some "big changes" happening in life these days for me, and most definitely some "big changes" still yet to come!
- Mood:
cheerful
Well as the days have passed lately while dealing with some sad issues in my life, trying to muddle through so many feelings and happenings I've now found some excitement in my life, which lately has been moments of such few and far between.
My excitement isnt so much a single moment or event, but one of what life holds in the future for myself and my family. We will be beginning our 3rd year of homeschooling and while trying to plan for the year ahead, along with trying to tie up loose ends from this past year. I find myself becoming excited at the prospects of learning new things with my children, watching their faces when they "get it" and the proud moments of accomplishment they show when their answers are right on the money!
Summer will soon be ending and for that I'm thankful, I've never been a "summertime" person and look forward to the fall and winter months ahead. We will begin our new school year come August 1st and with that beginning comes new things to engross ourselves in while making learning fun! I'm excited about the cool weather that will eventually get here, the changing of the leaves and the holidays winter brings.
I'm excited about our upcoming camping trip in August where we will meet up with good friends and have a grand ole time together in Tenn. I'm excited about the birthdays coming, especially the ones in October, Jim's big 40 will be this year and celebrating that milestone in his life and trying to make his day very special along with family and friends.
I just sit and think during those quiet moments in my life about all that life has to offer and what may be instore for us in the coming days, weeks and months. I've spend far too much time in the trenches of dispair and am now happy to be up above the valley upon the mountain top once again. You know, God is so good to us, he always makes a way through a hard time in our lives if we only have the faith to look to him for the peace and understanding through it all.
Now, does this mean that the troubles in my life lately have all disappeared? Absolutely not, they are still there in one form or another, but I'm choosing not to be bogged down by them, especially when I know there is nothing I can do to change them. I've given it to the Lord, letting him take care of what will be will be, and knowing however it all turns out, it is his will for that situation. I can only grasp onto him for the strength to endure what lies ahead concerning it all.
So, with everything with in my being I'm looking forward to exciting moment and some sort of normalcy in real life, why, because I have faith in God, faith in myself and faith in my family to know that good things are yet to come and happiness does truly prevail!
- Mood: chipper
The textbook definition of "sociopath" is as follows:
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
My question that I know will never get an answer, at least not anytime soon is...how do you make someone understand that a sociopath is no good, that they will only cause harm and will never become anything. Lives are destroyed by people like this and without "seeing the light" they will only allow turmoil and distruction to their own lives as long as they stay with a sociopath!
- Mood:
drained
I recently had a beach shoot with a prior client. She's so much fun to work with and loves being in front of the camera which of course makes shooting her awesome! We had to scrap our normal beach setting since the access bridge was closed for repairs. So, off we went to a nearby island to venture into new surroundings! We definitely had a blast shooting in the morning sun and the water was amazing! So, here's a sneak peek of some of the images we created together having our "fun on the beach".
- Mood: cheerful
Well in a few more days my babies are going to be a whopping 4 yrs old. I often look at them running and playing and wonder "where has the time gone?" and how does it seem our children's childhoods seem to slip through our fingers like sand through a sive.
It's a strange thing because it seems as just "yesterday" that they were infants, newborns being swaddled to go to sleep. Depending upon us for everything, but with each passing year they grow in mind and body, becoming more independant, becoming the people they are meant to be and at times I find it all so sad.
It's hard to watch your children grow up, but such a wild ride, fun, exciting and very rewarding all wrapped up into one not so neat package. Truth be known, I would'nt have it any other way!
So, this weekend on Father's Day my babies will be 4. They were actually born on Father's Day weekend, so this seems like a truly fitting day for their birthday to fall on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL & NATHANIEL...we love you with all our hearts and souls and may I say this straight from your Mama's heart...you both are truly God's wonderful blessings in my life. I'm so proud to carry the title of your "Mother".
- Mood: cheerful
This is what I've been dealing with and going through. Thinking that my relationship with one of my children was possibly gone forever. Even though I have been trying to protect them from a dangerous situation, even though my intentions through it all have been with their best interests in mind and close to my heart. Of course being a teenager and young adult, they dont ever see things as we do, they see what they choose to see and that's most likely the exact opposite of what's really there to others on the outside looking in.
It seems however that "baby steps" are being made in possibly mending this relationship and while I'm old enough to realize it will never be the same as it once was, my hope and prayer is that it will one day be back to somewhat a normal status. This of course will all depend upon the outcome of the current situation. That no matter how much they wish to prove us wrong, they most likely will find out we were right from the very beginning.
Having said all this I can honestly say that I am thankful that these baby steps are being made. That maybe they will bring her back into my life and back into our family's safe haven. I realize we as parents can not live our children's lives for them and while that is a reality it is a hard pill to swallow knowing that our advice and guidance will not always be taken. That there are things they will have to learn for themselves and become the stronger people they are meant to be when coming out on the other side.
So, with a hopeful heart and sensible outlook my prayer is that these baby steps will lead to much more and hopefully sometime within my future to a life of normalcy close to what once was.
- Mood:
hopeful
So, starting again is something I have to do. Not really starting over because in reality my life hasnt changed all that much, only there's a huge piece missing and I know in time that void will fill with something else. For now though it seems as though it never will. Trying to go through the motions of living life normally, yeah that's working...NOT!!! It's now time to find a way through and while I know I will find it, it is hard to realize the path of my future at this moment in time.
Why does life have to be so hard? Why does parenthood have to be so damn ruthless at times? Why does learning hard lessons hurt those around you even when you dont mean them to? These are just a few questions I wish I had the answers to, and while I know I will probably never have the complete answers to these questions, I will still find myself asking them from time to time.
Seems I'll be spending a lot of time in the next few days and weeks cleaning up the mess of emotions one left when they decided to go out into the unknown world of life and live as they choose...much luck...much hope that it all works out for them and many prayers that God watches over them in their new life in the depths of deciet.
I think my heart is truly breaking!
- Mood: crushed
Life has many twists and turns and these days my life has more than usual. My husband just came home today and informed me we now dont know where his next assignment will be as it seems his name has been flagged to return to the schoolhouse to be a head instructor. If he's sent there this will be his 2nd tour there and while it's not a bad assignment and still keeps us put for the next 3 yrs, it's not what we were prepared for *sigh* I suppose I should try and look at the bright side of things, but considering the situations I've been dealing with lately this could'nt have come at a worse time. I dont know, I mean it wont include a literal "move" so that's good and we retire from the Corps in 3 yrs anyway, so I suppose it really shouldnt matter much to me, but it just brings home one more thing that shows my life is up in the air and not in my control and that's something I literally hate with all my being! So I guess I should just sit back and relax some, waiting for what ever is going to happen to happen and make the best of it. Ya know what I mean...making lemonaid out of lemons type of outlook.
On a more upbeat front I did get a chance to do a photoshoot with my son and his girlfriend. They are a cute couple and I can tell there is a big connection between them. I have a feeling they've talked about more serious things. She graduates this week and is heading for college (locally thank goodness) in the fall. He's got 2 yrs left of High School and then he's heading for the Air Force (which is still remaining if that really happens or not, but it's a strong possiblity for now) so they have their individual lives pretty mapped out I suppose, although as we all know things can change. I suppose the question in all this is wether or not they've been thinking or talking about combining their two lives into one, but those are thoughts of another time, at least for me considering I'm sick of thinking about the unknown for now LOL :) Anyway, just thought I'd share some shots from their shoot. They really are a cute couple and considering how shy his girlfriend really is the images came out quite nicely!
So, I suppose I'll close this entry on that note and as always from my family to all those who read my blog...many blessings to you and yours!!!!
- Mood:
contemplative
Ya know it amazes me sometimes looking back upon my life how many hard life lessons I've learned. How many came as a shock and how many came expected because other's told me they would. When your young you think your invinsible, can do anything when it comes to matters of the heart and that love will take care of all. Once you begin to grow older and live life for a while out in the world you find out very quickly that love doesnt take care of all and sometimes you must listen to reason and your mind rather than just your heart. These sorts of lessons are the hardest I've found to go through and learn from as it really is an emotional rollercoaster no matter how you look at them.
This type of lesson is one someone in my family is going through right now. She thinks things are stacked against her, she feels as though no one understands and what she's going through is foriegn to us all. How wrong is that, I mean we've all gone through it and know the feelings of heartbreak, not being able to do what you want all the time, and that someone you love is totally wrong for you and possibly never loved you to begin with. The old saying "actions speak louder than words" rings so true with this situation, yet she refuses to see, refuses to accept that someone's actions really are screaming "stay away from me" yet she continues to think with her heart. Is that wrong, absolutely not because we've all done it, although there comes a time when you can no longer live life that way. There are too many factors to take into consideration and while we all would love to live life according to our hearts, reality steps in and knocks you to the ground, blindsides you and makes you wonder what in the world happened.
I'm not sure how to help her through this other than to be understanding in how she's feeling. On the same front however I must stay strong in my stance to trying to make her see the light in what has happened is for the best. Do I think she will listen? I have no idea as it seems while she says one thing I have a feeling she's going another. Reality will one day show it's ugly face and she will see the light, but how late will that come? Will it come before she does something stupid, or will time start to really heal and reveal what we've all known as reality to her? I dont have any answers to these questions, gosh you dont know how much I wish I did. I can only hope and pray reality sets in, her eyes are opened and she realizes the choices she's had to make recently are for her own well being because we all love her and want to protect her.
I know for a fact that we will not always be able to protect her and I'm okay with that, I know that there are hard life lessons she will learn on her own, having to face the consequences of her choices and actions and I'm prepared for that. I've now become prepared for a lot of things I never thought I would this soon, but as always that's life and life is hard and so not fair. Even now at my age there are things I hate about life and living it properly, I too wish things could be different in certain areas, but they arent and I try and live life knowing that my heart will sometimes cloud my judgement, it is however my choice if I allow that to happen or not.
So here I sit, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for other's life choices to be wrong and not in their best interest. Will that happen? I dont know, but in order to protect myself and be completely prepared for it is what I need to do. Has the truth been revealed about the entire situation? No, it certainly has not and we know this, so it has become a waiting game as to what happens next in this tradgic saga because this is one of those hard life lessons!
- Mood:
distressed
Here are some shots from the shoot and while I of course think he's gorgeous and sexy, I do believe the over all shoot and images came out quite nicely :) Hope all who views and reads this post does as well, and as always from my family to yours, many, many blessings to you all and your families!
- Mood: creative
Anyway, here's some of my recent works....
Blessings to everyone and thanks for looking :)
- Mood:
blah
The next day of our vacation found us at Kings Dominion VA. That was a bigtime fun day, we all had a blast...again....here's some shots from our wonderful fun day experience :)
The next day he headed on up to DC. We had a blast there walking around in the midst of all our countries history! Here's some shots from the sites we saw, they truly were amazing :)
Anyway, it's good to be home that's for sure. I am thankful for the awesome vacation though, a chance to spend quality family time together is always a wonderful blessing!
- Mood: chipper
Anyway, here are a few shots from our session today...they make such a cute couple!
- Mood: chipper
We had a great day yesterday though, spending the whole day together enjoying one another's company was a wonderful change from our day to day lives. Jim works constantly and spending time together is sometimes rare although we live together, see each other everyday (when he's not deployed) spending that quality time together alone just isnt possible. So, yesterday was a real treat for us both.
Anyway, hope everyone is having a great weekend and for those out there married here's wishing that you all have wonderful marriage and will always have happiness and never forget or loose the love and passion for which you got married to your other half for in the first place!
Blessings everyone!
- Mood: grateful
I have decided to try my hand at making costumes....yeah, yeah, I know I'm not a sewer but everyone can learn right. I have sewed things before and done rather well if I do say so myself, but I am by no means a seamstress LOL :) I figure it will probably take me forever and a day to finish one, but hey I can work on it a little at a time (in between all the other things I've got going on in life LOL) because I really dont have a timeline deadline of sorts, although I would like to get them done in somewhat of a timely manner since I want to use them for my stock photography.
The costumes I'm wanting to attempt are the "Elven" gowns from LOTR. I think the elves are the coolest characters in the entire movie. It's a series of movies I absolutely love and watch often. The Elvish clothing is so mystical and dream like, what better costumes to have for stock photography. None that I can think of.
So, look for future posts with images of my progress in making these costumes...hopefully I will learn alot about sewing in the days and weeks to come while attempting this fun project.
What's really funny is the fact that my husband knows more about sewing than I do, so he's agreed to help me with this, ought to be fun and frustrating all at the same time as it seems anytime my husband and I take on a project we end up at each others throat at some point, but then remember that gets us no where and we will pull together and work as a team, which ends up drawing us closer to each other. Strange thing, but it's how we work I guess LOL :)
Moving onto how my day has gone today. It's been yet another busy one! We had a homeschool group park day this morning. The kids had a blast playing with the other kids and although we didnt get to stay long (I had a "hail and fair well" to attend) I think it was really good for them as the boys actually took naps today with little resistance, that's always a good thing! When we got home from the park Jim was at home for lunch, I could tell he wasnt feeling good (he had a 6 mile road march this morning) so I asked if he was alright. Somewhere along the way on the road march he hurt his back pretty bad, ended up going to medical (sick call) and they doped him up on meds and that was that.
A little history on Jim's back...he injured his back in Japan over 8 yrs ago, they did nothing for it other than to dope him once in a while when it would start acting up. Well, after we moved back to the states 6 yrs ago, the first year we were back it really started acting up badly, to the point the man couldnt walk anymore. So, they did surgery as it seemed he had 4 bulging disks and one was pinching the siatic (I know I totally spelled that wrong) nerve going down his right leg to the point it no longer would work at times. The did the surgery and trimmed off the part of disk that was pinching the nerve...what they failed to do was fix the other 3 that were bulging because they werent pinching anything (crazy right) so anyway, from time to time his back acts up and puts him down for a few days. That's what happened today...although it's become somewhat of a normal thing (his back going out) this time seems worse than others...I hope another surgery isnt in our future, but if it is so be it if that will help his back to get strong again! Thank God we only have 3 yrs until retirement, maybe then he can actually take care of his back and not worry about it affecting promotion etc....because we all know the Marine Corps is all about appearance and being tough. That's a whole other blog posting though.
Anyway, so here I sit blogging about my day and hoping my husband gets some much needed rest a recovery this weekend because the pain he feels really is no fun for anyone in the house!
Hope everyone's day went well and from me to you and your families, here's wishing you a wonderful evening...until next post may you and yours have many, many blessings cast upon you!
- Mood: worried
Did find a really cool old church and graveyard, took some shots of that and it was really neat! The church looked like it was built in the eary 1800's possibly, there was no "establishment" marker that I saw so couldnt be for sure. Anyway, it was a good day, especially in the company of a good friend, that always makes for a good time :)
Soooooooooo, now I need to get off here and start dinner...a Mom and Wife's work is never done! Hope everyone has a great evening and until my next entry...many blessings to you and yours :)
- Mood: content
On a secular note, we did up the kids easter baskets the night before as usual, packing them with loads of candy and surprises. Colored eggs and had great fun doing that as this year was the first year the boys really got into the whole process and boy did they have a blast! They got so excited when putting the eggs in the dye and then seeing what comes out after the wait time. It was just too cute and of course being the cheesy parents we are, we just had to video tape the whole thing LOL :)
So after bedtime and the kids were fast asleep the baskets came out, the packing and hiding of the baskets happened. After that whole thing was when we realized just how many eggs we'd colored. We had a total of 54 eggs to hide through out the house for the kids to find the next morning. WOW I just couldnt believe we'd colored that many! Also you never realize just how small your house really is until you have to try and hide 54 eggs in it LOL :) It was quite a sight I'm sure watching Jim and I trying to find places to hide these things.
Anyway, so Easter morning came, the kids got up and started on the hunt. First they had to find their baskets (that were hidden in very creative places may I add) and then the egg hunt started! It was great fun all around, especially watching the older kids do the hunt. Funny how you never realize how well your kids know you until you do something like this...knowing how our minds work, the oldest kids found the eggs with only a few stumbling blocks along the way...great fun!!!
We then relaxed and enjoyed quality family time! Soon it was time to put the ham in the oven and start fixing the veggies for our Easter dinner. Yams, peas, corn on the cob YUM...it was a wonderful family feast and one we gave much thanks for to our Lord as we always do before eating our meals!
I even got in some good shots of some of the younger kids in their easter outfits...turned out rather good I think (especially the boys since they just dont know how to sit still for long) so while we had a wonderful easter, hoping everyone out there did as well. Here are some of the shots I got of my younger ones on Easter 2008!
Blessings everyone!
- Mood: thankful
I've started working on faces (not literally you see) photogaphically. It often amazes me how ones facial features and expressions can bring such emotion into an image with little to nothing else included. That is the idea behind my recent photographic works. That one can gain emotion from just faces, they eyes, mouth, way the head is shifted etc... all these things bring about emotion and while there are plenty of "photographs" in and around the world, the emotional images are what make photographs interesting and thought provoking.
Inspiration....that is....THE CONSTANT SEARCH...and within that, you will find me!
A glimpse of my newest images....
- Mood: artistic
News of exciting happenings here is I've finally decided to take the plunge and start my own photography business...this of course is coming after some very strong nudging from my husband, family & friends. This will take a while to get going full swing but the process is moving right along. I'm hoping to have my website filled with my portfolio shots up and running and live in the next month or so. I'll make sure I post an announcement when it's ready for traffic and visitors!
Here's some recent shots from some shoots I've done in the last couple of months...just sharing as usual with all those that might be interested in what's been happening in my wild and crazy world!
These first shots are of a couple session I did with a great couple who's love really shows through and was a pleasure to work with!
Here are some shots of my girls....we were playing around in the studio and I thought these pictures came out quite nicely! It's always fun to shoot my kids as they love having their pictures taken and are more than willing to do anything I ask as they are my greatest models!
You know I absolutely love where I live...the water, the marshgrass, the whole "old south" environment is full of opportunities of finding great places to shoot on location, and learn about history all at the same time. This presidents day my oldest girls and I set out on an adventure to find new places to shoot great pictures...we lucked out and found a wonderful little nook on the ocean filled with a wonderful feel of true nature and God's amazing work!
Okay well, I think that about catches this blog up on what's been happening around here and what I've been shooting lately. From my family to yours we wish you a wonderful day and many, many blessings be cast upon your lives!
- Mood: content
